Ne ego novi Little Did I know
by NarikoKaori
Summary: Kira, an Irken from Irk,was a few things that most didn't know e was originally designed from Tallest Spork and Miyuki?They wanted to make her the best for the future and for change to ough over the years Kira had been on Earth and had fell in love once,on Earth,until one day she left to the Armada, where she lives as Tallest Kira.OC (DISCONTINUED) :(
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own IZ, only my oc. Okay? Great. Anyways I wrote this around when 2006. I finally found this and decided to post it on here. I been thinking about actually making something out of it. However, I do know the grammar mistakes. But who cares? Just read the story and like it. Don't plague me with negativeness like "oh so used", stupid, f```ing bad. I don't tolerate that. So please don't do that. Anyways please enjoy this story. Oh by the way, if you have questions send me a message, if you like it comment and do all that loveliness! I hope. I don't know how it will go though. If the characters appear to be all ooc forgive me for that, it fits my story and the scenes and storyline, well once I figure it how it will go. I'm the kind of person that thinks it up as it goes, well sometimes I do, but that story is kind of much easier flowing then planned chapters and all that. I have fixed up this story a lot, most of it was not the best, so I changed some it from the original story I had. So don't forget to comment and fave/ follow if you like it! And enough comments and reads I will do more! **

**Good reading! :3**

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**Ne egonovi/ Little Did I know~~~ Chapter 1.  
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My name is Kira, it means "Dark". I am a full Irken by being designed. My designer parents are Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Sporg. So unoriginal, don't you think? Boring I may say without regret. My age is around 138, but I'm in human terms about 26. I have lime green skin, pitch black eyes instead of the typical red or purple or blue. Ever since my 135th year I had grown to reach the current Tallest Red and Purple's height. Boring as you may know. I may seem like the other Irken's typical female, but really I am not necessarily the best, I will admit to you; I got the long and lean legs, narrow chin with ridiculously long curled antennas and a slim body. I have the quite collection of battle scars, I have three dark scars on my right shoulder to my left leg, diagonal it is, but it's not horribly disfigured. And another scar is under my chin to my collar bone. My pak doesn't follow the traditional design, where the white is black and the pink is red instead. I wear black leather fitting attire, if you must know.

When I was designed by my 'parents' and grow in a test tube, they had me become one of those test subjects to carry some genes that allowed me to posses certain abilities, Nocturnal eye sight; telekinesis and enhanced senses. Oh how cliché isn't it? Everybody always has…. Wows don't need to break the 3rd wall was it? That would suck…okay shut up Kira...shut up.

When I get bored I have the tendency to hack in to The Resistancy computer and make viruses. It's not that hard, a few times they got malware and sometimes some other things I rather not get geeky about. Other times I write up my own programs and once I had my own virtual reality game and somehow it was stolen… Coming from my advanced skills at computers, I have untraceable and unknown data sources including links. Nobody knows that I am searching through their data and once I gained what I desire worthy, I render and leave their computer useless. One device I always use is like a data pad that has a grim reaper design on it, it helps me hack and it's a computer really, but it's the size of two pens. I learned on Earth how to play a few instruments, like the guitar, violin and the piano!

I have a quite the number of friends on Earth, Invader Tenn, Tak, Skooge, Gaz and Zim. One thing I know is that Dib and Gaz do have Irken blood in them, so making them half blood and their father is a a half too … Okay, I'll be honest with you, I had a crush on the father and dated him, as the humans call it, for a year and injected the three of Irken dna, thus making them that. Okay maybe their full, idk I'm not here to tell you all what went on in their blood!

My history was not so flattering, I grew to my twenties and I was in the academy for the years by learning and keeping to myself and I was happened to be friends with the current Tallests. When I graduated I went off to explore the universe, I met many exciting and boring races, but when I arrived back home, I had stayed there for some time until I signed up for the military, I went and slaughtered….things…people….uhm I rather not continue that… After climbing my ranks I was assigned to this unknown planet, as it's called now Earth, and left for that planet; over the years of being there I had gathered much knowledge. I met the three humans one day travelling to the mall because Dib and Gaz had spent time with their father and somehow Gaz liked me and dragged me to have pizza with them, so I did and I hit it off pretty good with their father until we broke it off several months to a year later and I went back home and fell in a pretty depressed state. Gaz and I still keep in touch.

I met Zim before… actually several times. One time he had went in my ship to a planet, he was barely out of the academy and on a three day vacation we went to a nice planet that served some great sweet candies. He became like a younger brother to me. When I learned about his 'accident' back at home world, Irk, I was pretty upset. I tried to explain to the tallests back then but they didn't listen.

Many years went by and I went back to war, I had received many war scars. When I learned that Zim had been assigned to Earth, I followed after him, dropping communication with the armada again. It's a habit I picked up from Earth. I lived on Earth ever since I found Zim.

The sun started to rise upon the horizon, the birds chirping away their enchanting melodies and the noisy and disgusting traffic started, the city was pretty bad, the fossil fuels the humans car consumed makes me sick when I am near one.

I adjusted my outfit and descended down the stairs of Zim's and my house. I was his 'mother' in this world. I was a teacher for a new class they added to the school. Since a new science department was opened by somebody with lots of money. I looked the part of Zim's mother; however I had porcelain white skin instead of his natural color. I looked like one of those 1950s women with the cat eyeliner and the whole nine yards including the long hair with waves and ringlets, oh and I tend to wear dresses with polka dots, they're my favorite.

"Zim, come on. We have to get you to school, we'll be later" I called down the trash can we had for an elevator. "I'm coming!" He shouted back.

"Don't you speak to me in that tone young boy!" I scolded. Sometimes I act like his mother and it comes naturally. Perhaps it's been all those old films until these humans became pretty darn unintelligent in this year of 2004? As the humans have on their calendars all over the world in all they're different languages.

"Yeah, yeah" he arrived up the main floor and we left to school. As we arrived, the kids avoided him like he was a disease. Kids can be cruel like adults. It's disappointing.

Zim ran off to his class and I left for mine. I took a seat at the desk and took a look around at my classroom; it was pretty decent in human terms for the science equipment. They are so many years being us Irkens. What a pity.

I had Tak, Tenn and Skoodge in my class. When they got back from their missions, they were assigned here to help Zim, but then they noticed I was here. I had tried to teach the class, it came to a failure. Try teaching a class that doesn't want to learn, it never go the way you want.

School was over later that day. I had a entourage of six children following me to my house, which happens to be: Tenn, Tak, Skoodge, Zim, Gaz and Dib. This was all after we saved Earth several days later from that stupid Santa robot, I destroyed him. It was pretty crazy. I made Zim swear to me he will never create one of them again. But knowing him he would create something that is NOT Santa but a robot like him but not him. Do you know what I mean? I'm talking to myself…crazy.

We arrived at my house and the kids sat around and had discussed technology to other species to making weird spaghetti monsters. I had dished up some treats that would make up more motivated and that's well candy. I can prepare human food but I don't really eat it that much.

You know I used to have this biggest crush on Tallest Red when I was younger, back in the academy. He was so cute and well I have to say nerdy; Yeah, ironic right? Red was the opposite of what he is now and the same for Purple until one tragic day we had. We knew this real nice Irk girl and she helped us in the pranks and one day her secret boyfriend went crazy and killed her and nearly us, I had my arm almost took off and I almost died. He was neutralized and I was in surgery right after and I was in a coma too. Pretty bad, I think that's what made us all different. I didn't have the crush on him anymore, I still have a love for….for…I don't even want to continue that.

"Hey, we all have another assigning this week. So we have to leave and go there…well not have too, but I want too. Are you all going too? Just for the heck of it? Its FREE FOOD" They chirped at the last part. Free candy is great. Well unless it has glass shards in it or something.

"Yeah" So it was confirmed. We all will likely leave tonight and arrive there in less than a week going by my ship.

Tak and Tenn stared at me, examining my height actually. Their eyes rose in shock, "Aren't you tall as the Tallests right now?" They asked. "You're surely as tall as them!"

I shrugged, taking a bite form my éclair doughnut. "Probably, I haven't checked for a few decades" I stated. "Not like I care though."

Later in the night we all took my ship and left. Of course I had my house maid bots and my own little helper named Tank; take care of the house until we get back.

When we arrived at the Armada ship, I had assigned Zim with Gaz, Tak and Dib; Tenn and Skoodge, Of course I didn't have anybody and it didn't matter. We all had our disguises off., they stepped of first and I went out last. Of course nobody noticed me because I was always the one hiding in the shadows type of person. I had a social fear, well actually I just didn't like putting up with people and this happens a lot.

A few Irkens gasped. "What's with them?" Dib asked, pretty much saying what Gaz wanted to know. "They saw Zim. They, The Tallests, will probably try to get Zim out of here. I'm the former Tallests designer daughter and technically I had upgraded the think tank—the big all brainy machine in… well anyways, they won't let that happen. They can't do much if Zim is in my group. The control brain is awesome, did you know that?" I said.

Tak, Tenn and Skoodge laughed amongst themselves, leaving Dib and Gaz confused a little. "I can't wait to see their faces, they will freak!" I inclined my head, "Yeah, most likely. But they will take a notice more of me then him quickly after."

The crowd begun to cheer loudly as we got inside. They noticed the Tallests come down from their rotating disks that actually had both lasers and mist together. At least nobody got their eye hit by a laser…yet. "oww my eye!" well forget that then.

We moved further in and watched the show. "Welcome, welcome! To the great assigning, Opending Doom 3! Since out last three failures," Red and Purple looked around the room as they ate their doughnuts while talking, spitting food all over the front row making them sick and cringe.

Of course I blocked the rest out. "This is boring" I stared at Gaz in shock. "It gets better…I think" I murmured.

I watched as The Tallests scanned the crowds not ever glancing at us. "So, how do you know the Tallests?" My group asked. I glance over to them, "The first time I met them was when we were smeets"

They didn't press on, they knew my mood and how pissy I can get when they bug me and try to pry t he information from me. "Now is the assigning! Behind me is 7 of the-Where's Kira—Invader Kira!" Red yelled. Purple looked around too.

My whole group stared at me in disbelief. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. The six kept their mouths shut just for this amusing scene behold us. "She's over her my Tallests!" Zim shouted while pointing at me. They gasped when they took sight of him, "Oh nooo" They looked at him in horror, "it's Zim" of course, this is where everybody happens to look at him and completely forget about me. "Zim" Gaz whispered, noticing that he happened to be picked on and hated, she looked at him quietly. I thought I smelled pity from her. Hmm weird I thought I never smell that from here, well like people say, we don't always know everything about somebody, or the other saying that we always learn something new... Okay I'm horrible at quotes.

"Guys, I'm right here" I said, waving my hands in the air as I'm trying to gain their attention. They finally turned their attention on to me. "Invader Kira, you're so unbelievably tall!"

They motioned me to come forward, I sighed dramatically. "Fine, I'm on the way!" I groaned. I was making my way there slowly, but everybody was pushing me to the front, dragging me too. The Tallests looked me up and down, I felt like I was being undressed with their eyes.

_'..The irony…'_ I thought irritated. I watched them as they step back a few feet and whisper amongst each other and kept glancing at me. The Think tank had happened to measure my height, and the oh so surprisingly fact was that I'm the same height as The Tallests, note the sarcasm on surprisingly.

'They probably don't remember me, it's been so long ago' I thought sadly. Those darn humans infecting me with their emotions… I bet you tend to one that many years ago we actually had emotions that can be showed but not anymore because we're bred for war, it's really irritating. I didn't dare show my emotions on my face, for the fear of being killed or took out of service; one of my former friends had that happen to them.

"Invader k- We don't think we should call you Invader Kira anymore. Since the control brain believes that you're tall enough to become one of us" Purple said, instead of Red, making me very surprised.

I peek over my shoulder to see that the 'Control Brain' is scanning through my PAK. I knew that my group was watching us intensely. Zim was grinning up at me. "It looks as if you're the same height, like we said" they commented from the crowd. I smiled over at them, though a pang in my heart followed. If I was to become one of the Tallests, then that means I will never see… again….. Oh Irk… even though… I hate this.

"They are right" Red said, he tapped his fingers against his chin in thought. I inclined my head at them. "I have grown since I last stood on this podium. What am I going as? My occupation, I mean" I asked loudly. I wanted to hear them say it again, that I'm Tallest Kira.

Purple and Red shared a look of disbelief. I kept my eye level evenly with them. "Your assigning will be addressed as a Tallest, since your outstanding height. Like we said before"

_'Okay smartass'_ I mentally scowled. "Here is Tallest Kira everybody!" They Tallest said, though they sounded excited however their look says otherwise, it screams 'oh great, another whoopee ohh yay' complete sarcasm.

The crowd erupted in cheers and excitement, chanting my name "Tallest Kira" over and over again. "Finally a female Tallest!" of course there had to be some members of both genders to state that; the whole thing was a little un nerving and really making me want to escape this place.

When the assigning was over, I had to go to my living quarters that was being made for me, so I had some of the designs be laid out for me. I wanted a balcony that I can see the stars, a little garden area that I can have plants, a mini library, a nice large bed and many other essentials that I would need since living on Earth.

They had me dressed in more of a feminine outfit, it made my figure accent the appropriate curves and its color is silver and deep red, it has a long ribbon attached on the skirt that's tied on the lower back in a small bow and the rest curls up in long spirals; there is no sleeves if you must know. I detest them.

Later on, I was sitting in the cafeteria lounge with my friends and we were consuming food, I was drinking some beverages to calm my nerves, I was and still am really distressed that my old friends have not recognized me. They helped me become who I am today.

"I can't believe you are a Tallest now, it's amazing!" Zim shouted excited. He always has the tendency to get over excited. It can be quite adorable, other times it's really annoying if you have one of those bad days.

My antennas twitched and I played with one of them, they were ridiculously long and swirls many times. "What's wrong?" I cupped my hands together and leaned my face on them. "They don't recognize me!" I complained. "They forgot about me! It makes me feel horrible, horrible!"

"Calm down, okay? It happens. It's been a long time ago. Perhaps they didn't want to mention anything? Maybe they do remember?" Tenn suggested.

I groaned and shake my head. "I doubt it, hell its worse that I'm regretting leaving Earth…" I look down at the table, tears pricking at my eyes. Am I having some malfunction to have these emotions ever in the first place?

The girls huddled together and I closed my eyes. One thing about having this beverage was that my senses were numbed; I couldn't even tell what they are speaking of.

"Are you still in love with my dad?" Dib asked as he picked at his sprinkles on his cupcake.

I swallowed my cries before they could escape and leaned my head against the cool metal table and I stared emptily at the wall across from me. Tears threatening to escape even more; perhaps I should have my memories escaped? Perhaps I should get my emotions wiped clean.

"We think you should try to talk to him?" Tak begun, she tapped on my shoulder.

I made no attempt to make a noise or reply. Tenn sighed, "You been moping about ever since you and him broke things off!" she folded her hands together and she frowned deeply. "Kira, you need to stop being depressed about this"

I let my tears stream down my face, after all there was nobody else in this room except for us. "I can't take it anymore! All these years that went by I cared and loved him. I even made you three Irken! I didn't want to have you guys die off like the last mortals I met before you…. I don't know what to do anymore. Should i…should I get my memory erased? Get my emotions wiped?"

"NO!" they shouted. Gaz was glaring daggers at me, her looks kind of make my skin crawl and sting a little. "Never do that"

I let another sigh escape and I lifted my head up and took another sip of my irken specialty and it burned going down my throat but it sure did give me the great effect after. I kind of miss my gummy bears right now, my pink cookies, my choco taco ice cream sandwich and certainly my mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was such a bummer.

When I arrived—well the others helped me to my room since I was stumbling about and almost crashing in everybody in the way… especially the walls and the floor a couple times. I got in my room and passed out on the bed. I didn't even see what the living quarters look like either.

(Other pov)

Red and Purple were sitting in their chairs and consuming their large quantities of sugary treats to cure their sugar addiction, though that never really cures it but makes it worse and even more addicting.

"Hey, Red" Purple said as he stuffed his chocolate in his mouth

"What, Pur?" Red said after taking a sip of soda through his silly straw.

"Doesn't Kira look familiar?" they both paused eating and drinking and looked at each other momentarily before continuing on to their sweets. "No, not at all" they thought read hard, they paused real hard and a spark a familiarity is what they felt until they shook it off. "Nah, she doesn't" Red said, finishing his soda. He looked around searching for any more soda and spots one that is on the other side of the room. He stared at it intently, like it was going to levitate over to him.

"uhh, Red what are you doing?" Purple asked while eyeing him in disbelief.

"Trying to see if the force works" Red held out his hand, "come on, come on!" Nothing, it did not happen once. "I give up. Now where are my servants?" He mumbled to himself.

'Somebody get me that soda!" He pointed at the other side of the room where now another Irken has picked it up and was about to drink it. Before the Irken had placed his lips on it, it was took from their hands and rushed over to Red. The dejected Irken held his head in shame.

"Mm good" he took a sip and leaned back in to his seat. "Well kinda, but it's been so long ago. She could've been killed in the war on Titania, y'know the one she was assigned too after we graduated"

Purple stared at him in awe. "Red, that was the longest sentence you ever said, well ever since the academy!" He dropped his doughnut and picked it up quickly, blowing it off then taking a bite.

Red shrugged, "Hey. When you're the tallest, you don't need to think. You have people to do that for you" he said.

Purple laughed and Red joined it. "Yeah, so true"


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own IZ except for my OC Kira.**

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"Are you still in love with my dad?" Dib asked as he picked at his sprinkles on his cupcake.

I swallowed my cries before they could escape and leaned my head against the cool metal table and I stared emptily at the wall across from me. Tears threatening to escape even more; perhaps I should have my memories escaped? Perhaps I should get my emotions wiped clean.

"We think you should try to talk to him?" Tak begun, she tapped on my shoulder.

I made no attempt to make a noise or reply. Tenn sighed, "You been moping about ever since you and him broke things off!" she folded her hands together and she frowned deeply. "Kira, you need to stop being depressed about this"

I let my tears stream down my face, after all there was nobody else in this room except for us. "I can't take it anymore! All these years that went by I cared and loved him. I even made you three Irken! I didn't want to have you guys die off like the last mortals I met before you…. I don't know what to do anymore. Should i…should I get my memory erased? Get my emotions wiped?"

"NO!" they shouted. Gaz was glaring daggers at me, her looks kind of make my skin crawl and sting a little. "Never do that"

I let another sigh escape and I lifted my head up and took another sip of my irken specialty and it burned going down my throat but it sure did give me the great effect after. I kind of miss my gummy bears right now, my pink cookies, my choco taco ice cream sandwich and certainly my mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was such a bummer.

When I arrived—well the others helped me to my room since I was stumbling about and almost crashing in everybody in the way… especially the walls and the floor a couple times. I got in my room and passed out on the bed. I didn't even see what the living quarters look like either.

(Other pov)

Red and Purple were sitting in their chairs and consuming their large quantities of sugary treats to cure their sugar addiction, though that never really cures it but makes it worse and even more addicting.

"Hey, Red" Purple said as he stuffed his chocolate in his mouth

"What, Pur?" Red said after taking a sip of soda through his silly straw.

"Doesn't Kira look familiar?" they both paused eating and drinking and looked at each other momentarily before continuing on to their sweets. "No, not at all" they thought read hard, they paused real hard and a spark a familiarity is what they felt until they shook it off. "Nah, she doesn't" Red said, finishing his soda. He looked around searching for any more soda and spots one that is on the other side of the room. He stared at it intently, like it was going to levitate over to him.

"uhh, Red what are you doing?" Purple asked while eyeing him in disbelief.

"Trying to see if the force works" Red held out his hand, "come on, come on!" Nothing, it did not happen once. "I give up. Now where are my servants?" He mumbled to himself.

'Somebody get me that soda!" He pointed at the other side of the room where now another Irken has picked it up and was about to drink it. Before the Irken had placed his lips on it, it was took from their hands and rushed over to Red. The dejected Irken held his head in shame.

"Mm good" he took a sip and leaned back in to his seat. "Well kinda, but it's been so long ago. She could've been killed in the war on Titania, y'know the one she was assigned too after we graduated"

Purple stared at him in awe. "Red, that was the longest sentence you ever said, well ever since the academy!" He dropped his doughnut and picked it up quickly, blowing it off then taking a bite.

Red shrugged, "Hey. When you're the tallest, you don't need to think. You have people to do that for you" he said.

Purple laughed and Red joined it. "Yeah, so true"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(exit pov)~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a number of days or hours, I couldn't tell since I was taking my slumber hours. I wished that my parents as I claim them to be were here to see me now. I wish that was here with me, kissing me and holding me. I wish that I was back on Earth running in the fields of flowers on some island in the Caribbean's that he took me too on one of our dates. Surprisingly he actually took time off to spend with me, we were like a little family all gathered around the table talking and eating and spending actual quality time together. I missed those times.

I sat up from my bed and my hand ran against the dark blue satin sheets, it was room temperature. It was beautiful as I imagine it to be. It was pretty big then any other rooms, perhaps Red and Purple has their room large as this? The floor was soft and it was like a carpet in a way. It had a balcony that looked out at the stars. A library like I wanted with a plenty of books, my favorite Shakespeare plays were in a shelf that was dedicated to him, Poetry, classical reads that are like mythology and the sorts; A mini-bar with drinks, treats, etc. And also a living space to relax with a large couch and computer screen with tons of game consoles in the far corner.

There was a knock at the door, I went over to answer it and found my friends behind it. "Hello" I greeted them with a big smile and spread arms. There were guards before my door and they happened to be staring at them like they're daring them to do something. "Come on in; check out my nice piece of heaven?" I was unsure if I said that right.

"Yeah, you said it right" Dib told me, noticing that uncertainly in my voice. I grinned and stepped aside, they entered and their jaws dropped. It was quite a comical sight. Gaz went right away to my game corner. Dib went to check out my computers. Zim was fiddling away with something in the corner. Tak and Tenn were searching through my wardrobe that I have acquired.

"Well, thanks for asking how I was" I mumbled and left over to my couch and plopped down on it. The door to my room closed. I know I was feeling pretty pitiful but I didn't want to show how I was feeling. I was always the one to bottle my emotions until they burst out and I explode into a fit of tears.

I did like that light up floor in the corner where it's like tiles and you step on it and they light up. I even liked the new Game slave 4 and also the dancing game system near it. Everything was set to how I wanted it and I surely need to thank the workers who designed it. Maybe boost their salary by a percent or two. Maybe that will make them like me more other then my height and that I was a female. I want to live up to and more then my mother's name. I didn't know if the mass populace knew that I was the child of the two former Tallests? Even if I wasn't birthed from the womb, like our ancestors had been, I certainly claim my parents in complete pride. Without them, I wouldn't be anything, not even a smeet or a thought in existence.

"Gameslave 4!" Gaz dashed over there faster than I could see and begun to play the game with much determination and her skills were pretty good. Thanks to one of the Irken science and technology department, they had imported the game to a larger console like a computer and placed it on the big screen and all that uniqueness. I loved it how Earth releases the game on one side of the world before America at times. It's quite hilarious in many levels and ways.

"Nice" I heard a whistle behind me. I turned to see that Red and Purple had made their way here and I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't notice them enter this premises. "Umm...hi. Thanks…Can I help you somehow?" I said, twiddling my fingers nervously. Did I tell you I have a nervous tick, yeah its twiddling my thumbs, it's not bad as biting nails or plucking my hair.

"Oh, we just came here to see if you're enjoying your room" Purple said.

_'He's in a pleasant mood'_ I thought shocked. They didn't really go and bug me unless they actually are up to something. "I am. The workers did a fantastic job" I said, a smirk on my face. I kind of felt better, due to their prescience. I don't like being alone if you understand that, I use to before a decade on a dying planet and I had to use and find scraps before the planet imploded and all those years alone had put a fear of loneliness in me.

"They did an okay job" Red looked around. He didn't like it really. Perhaps it was because it's not his room. Well obviously that got to be a reason why.

_'Red you dork'_ I thought. He was using sarcasm on the okay part. I knew he uses sarcasm most of the time.

"So is there any logical reason to bother me other than to check this room and to see if I like it?" I said it, I actually asked them that. It was beginning to irritate me again.

"Actually, yes there is a logical reason, Kira," Red said. "We want to know if you're _OUR _Kira."

That question stole the breath out of my chest; my squeedlie spooch did a few jumps. When he said OUR, he actually made me surprised, I didn't know why he said that but it made me feel kind of happy. I didn't know what to say, I was speechless. "..I…umm…why….you…" I shut my mouth, I couldn't form my words correctly, and they came out all gibberish.

"I see, come on Pur. That's not our Kira" Red said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the door. Purple sent me a sad look and they disappeared behind the doors.

I noticed it went silent in my room and I looked around noticed that everybody had turned their attention on to me; Gaz paused her game and watched me silently. Zim noticed my despair and ran to me and hopped into my arms and gave me a big comforting hug. I'm actually beginning to think him more of a son than anything else. The others gathered around the couch and tried comforting me as I backed up against the couch and fell against it numb with Zim still clinging to me like a monkey.

"Don't cry, Kir Kir. Don't cry" He rubbed his head in my neck and it was like taking care of a child. I didn't even know what it was like but it felt natural…instinctual actually. I leaned my head back against the couch and closed my eyes, the tears escaped again.

The mood detector in my room, which I forgot to mention, had played an earth song, that I always will love to listen to and that is: Away From Sun by 3 Doors Down.

"Please, everybody leave me" I choked out. "No, I will never!" Gaz growled. She was like a daughter to me. Even in her darkest and lightest days she was the one that always came to me and talked about everything.

I popped open an eye and my tears blurred my vision. "Please. I beg of you. I need to be alone, NOW!" I screamed out. The guards rushed in alarmed, "GET THEM OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!"


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own IZ, only my OC.**

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They were screaming and fighting to get to me. When I'm alone I get really depressed and do some really horrible things. I watched wordless as they hauled them out, "DO NOT LET ANYBODY, I MEAN ANYBODY, NOT EVEN THE TALLESTS IN HERE! GOT IT?" The guards nodded, "Yes, My Tallest" as the door shut and I plopped down on my couch and looked around emptily. I stared at my drinks on the shelf and got over and retrieved a bottle, I popped the cork and took a long drink. The tears stinging my cheeks, I feel my core burn from the bitter taste. I close my eyes and lean it against the wall.

_'Thank Irk that they didn't even argue with me...'_

Music played in the background; I wasn't even paying attention to what the words were or how it was going. I was too far concentrated on my own inner turmoil. I took another long swig and another and followed by more. I consumed another bottle and grabbed a new one and waddled to my bed and collapsed face first in the satin sheets. "I hate my life" I sobbed. "Nothing ever works out good for me anymore"

I flopped on my back and watched the digital show of the stars on the hologram ceiling; it was actually what the stars on outside of the ship are doing above me. My nose gets stuffy and I couldn't breathe so I used my mouth. I took another drink and gulped the pungent liquid down; it was beginning to make me feel tired. I forgot what it was like to drink this stuff. It's been what, twenty unbearable years? Before I met and fresh out of the academy I met a human, Rylle, and we both were so in love, I told him everything about me and he believed me, one day I watched him grow old and die. It hurt so much. I met Arte on another planet, he was a different species, he committed suicide because his parents didn't agree and believe in interracial relationships; they sure learned their lessons for that. After that, I met Membrane I knew I had to do something before he would die and once more I was on love with him, but then he went our different ways after a terrible break-up…he was kissing another woman, perhaps he was intoxicated but that was rarely happened…

One thing I knew was before all of these loves I had, there was always Red. The one I always loved. He made me day when we were in the academy, my brightened my sorrow lit days, he made me smile and laugh and cry, sometimes all at the same time. I thought we were so in love, but the others said it was young love and it never lasts. They were right…so darn right. I think that had changed me after the academy and made me depressed and led me towards that dark spinning spiral staircase to the bottom of no-Irkens land.

I dropped the bottle and it collided with the ground and it shattered in many pieces. I have to say, I love glass bottles or containers. I placed my hands on my face and let out all my sobs and tears, all the years of pain I experienced has let loose. No matter how many wails, screams, growls, sniffles or moans, the music blocked out the noise. I couldn't stand this agony I have been living with. I wanted to experience the love I once had again. To have arms open for me and only for me. Nobody really could feel this…like what I'm going through.

I shut my eyes and tried to sleep, nothing came to that; I was filled with so much melancholy that it canceled out sleep. I sat up and watched the wall across from me hoping that it made me succumb to sleep. It never worked. I turn my attention on the balcony and discarded my attire and change in a black knee length strapped night gown and went slowly over there. I looked at the stars and pressed a hand against it, my breathing fogged up the glass.

"Nothing is what it seems anymore, is it?" My voice is croaky. I leaned my head against the glass and shut my eyes, feeling how cool the glass was against my warm skin. I let out a heavy sigh and bit my lip. It was true, nobody wanted to care about me like I did for them anymore…sure my friends is what I have...but I want Love, the real thing again.

_'I wonder...I wonder what will become of me….'_

* * *

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~{Earth}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

It was a rainy night on Earth. It was Saturday and school was out. Dr. Membrane was heading home for the once. He opened the door and darkness greeted him, "Kids? Hello? Is anybody home?" He flipped the switch and seen that nobody was there.

He searched the house, hoping that they were playing some hide and go seek game they always played when they were little kids. He called out again, 'Dib, Gaz!Helllloooo?" He received no response.

He searched their rooms again, under their beds, in the closets, nothing. Last place he checked was his bedroom. One thing caught his eye was the necklace that seems abandoned on the bed side table, he picked it up and was going to through it out but it snapped open and a picture caught his eye. He held it open and looked down at it. "Dib, Gaz…. I miss you both so much" he sat on his bed and held his head in his hands, his glasses slipped to the ground and you could see his eyes were red, but there were no tears.

"Dr. M, is everything okay?" called a young petite woman as she walked in the room. He put his goggles back on and stood up, "Everything's fine. Get out! Get out of my house!" he yelled.

Her eyes rose in fear and she darted out of the house, tears streaming down her face causing the make-up to run.

Membrane clutched on to the necklace and placed it inside his pocket. "Where could they gone…" Once in his life, as known, he missed his children. "Kira…I'm sorry" he whispered to himself and looked up at the stars and shook his head, "It won't work. I should tell Rose I'm sorry"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Exit)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

* * *

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Red and Purple)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

It was another day for the two Tallests as they munch away on their treats, Consuming as much as they can to cure their hunger that formed at the bottom of the squeedlie spooch. Nothing beats a boring day then eating for them.

"Red. Do you think she was just speechless?" Purple asked, peeking up from his large mass of junk food. Red scoffed, "No. She is never speechless, remember? She always had something to say. It was always something that caught us off guard. Like the time we were chased by the hybrid thwarg on planet Ishwarm" he started laughing, tears of joy escaping his eyes. "And she says—" Purple cuts in. "Hey, it looks like some kind of tutu on its head!" he laughs.

Red wipes his tears. "and so we go, wait what?!" they both said. They turn to each other and start crying. "We miss our Kira! We need to find her! This Kira is not her!"

Purple cries. "But it's her! I can feel it, we know if it's her! Didn't you notice the aura around her? She always brings us to be happy! She was there for us and we….we abandoned her there…."

Unfortunately for one Irken, the Tallests brought him into the hug and he was cried on. He was so scared he just stood there. The other Irkens that went by had sneaked on by and didn't offer help.

"You're tallest, you have a meeting" one unlucky Irken said.

The Tallests gave him the most horrifyingly scary look; the Irken thought he had a thousand deaths over and over again. "Do you see us over here? We're busy, reschedule it!"

"But..sir…my Tallests…" he bit his lip nervously. "Sir, it's urgent. They're demanding you to be there"

"We said reschedule it!" the yelled loud enough it felt like the poor fellows ear drums blew up. He scurried off to tell the bad news, he always hates to be the messenger.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(EXIT)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

I crawled to my bed and collapsed onto it. I finally drifted off to sleep, well after several hours of rolling around trying to get comfortable. Cannot ease an restless mind. I needed a cure that fixed this little syringe of pain in my heart.

**~~~~{Dream}**

I did not but run. Run away from everything behind me, the blazing background was burning with flames. Something's chasing me, making my tears escape. I couldn't fathom what it was. All I know was that it frightens me dearly. I heard deep rumbling of roars behind me, it made quicken my speed. I wanted to leave this place.

Then it got to me. I was surrounded on a planet that was in flames, the cries and screams of agony and fear hit my ear drums. I watch helplessly as one man Arte was on the fallen ground, he outstretched his hand and i reached for him but then I was thrown back against a wall. His blue skin drained of color; he opened his mouth and screamed. "Get out of here, run Kira!"

The buildings around us begun to crumble, I climbed to my feet and tried to run to Arte, I ignored what he said. Before I reached him, he was pulled away from me and under a crevice in a wall. I heard him scream...over and over again... there were gunshots but nobody came out. I thought he was playing a game with me and come out a few seconds later just to get me scared, but I was wrong; nobody even came out. I heard more growls around me and I turned around quickly. Five large bulky purple Earth looking lions with horns and eight legs had launched themselves at me. I rolled to the side and eliminated one with a knife.

As I took another one out, a scorching pain scraped from my shoulder down to my hip. My blood escaped the wound. "AAAAHHH!" i clutched it and quickly as I can I climbed crumble of a building. I was about to make it to the other side but then i was pulled right back down and one of the Aeline creature's had their large sharp teeth right in my leg. I was yanked on my back and I had another Aeline's claws on my chin and it slashed me to my collarbone. I let out another gut quenching scream.

I grasped on my knife and plunged in to the heart of the Aeline who is holding me down. I twisted the blade and it collapsed on me, i pushed it off and tried to get up but another one had jumped in to the dead creature's place and held me down again. Scream after scream I had, nothing or nobody came. I received bite after bite and my skin was torn from my flesh on my arms or legs, my back too. I thought my organs were being ate but I was unsure, this pain was unbearable.

"She's over here!" but I was wrong before... My eyelids were droopy and I closed my eyes, unable to hold them open or even stay awake. I heard gunshots and loud rapid steps, I thought i felt like I was being picked up and placed on a stretcher but I was unsure. I tried to pry open my eyes but I was too tired to even get them to move.

"Kira, please stay awake. Stay awake dang it!" I heard a comforting voice shouted. I thought i felt warm tears fall down on my skin. I thought I was imagining it all. At the most I could smell them anywhere, my two good friends found me...

"Red...Pur...you're...here" I mustered enough to energy to say. I heard their voices fade away from me and I fell in to a deep sleep of darkness and coldness.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~{END}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

I sat up and clenched a hand against where my heart would be or is, who knows anymore. I hung my head and murmured, "Why can't you guys remember me?" I swallowed a sob and staggered out of my bed and went to clean myself up. I stared at myself in the mirror and clenched my fists tightly, i swung my fist at the mirror and smashing it, the glass shattering in to the sink below. I groaned and with a piece of the glass I picked it up with my two fingers and stared at myself, dark purple lines under my eyes and my skin by stained my tears.

I dropped the piece and shook my head slowly. "Why live a life that's painted with pity and sadness and strife?" I fixed the under circles with some powder and then left my room and dressed back in to my acquainted attire. I wouldn't prance about in my under wear and in bare minimal protection.

I left my room in a slow pace, asking the guards to send somebody to go clean up my mess that I have caused. I just dare not to even allow myself to cause bodily harm like I once did fifteen years ago.

I went in to the elevator at one end of the hall. I went to the floor where my friends had their sleeping quarters designated too. I had the utmost desire to apologize to them for my behavior yesterday, it was unacceptable on many levels. I didn't have the heart anymore to even want to hurt them, did I? It just shatters me anymore that I had led myself down this sorrow lit path.

I stood before their door and held my knuckle up against the door. I knocked three times. I backed up a few feet and watched as the doors slid open and I gulped down my fear of social interactions of apologizing. There stood Gaz, in all her now Irken glory and she looked very pissed off to be awoken at this hour of noon, if converted in to Earth hours it would be that time. "What is it?" she blinked away her tiredness and her glare was heated enough to melt any metal for a mile radius.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own IZ, only my oc.**

**Short chapters from now on, onless I have decided to write longer ones. This chapter is short, I know, but try to enjoy it so far. :/ Sheesh, isn't she just a depressed oc, am I right? I have dealt with manic depressive/depression/bipolar since my teenage years, so I know it on familiar terms. **

* * *

_recap:"What is it?" she blinked away her tiredness and her glare was heated enough to melt any metal for a mile radius._

* * *

Of course I will bluntly put it I always have had an emotional attachment to people in my past. Whether it was healthy or not. It was worked out to having me get wounded in the end, ironic is it not? I didn't understand why I didn't get over them past. Some of my memories I keep on having over and over again. I wished that most of them came back so I can repeat them many times as I want. Every one of those happy moments, replaying like a recording. I only want the great ones, not those ones that make me wake up crying like a little smeet that doesn't understand life or this custom we all have now. Only the reason we have test tube Irkens grown is because pregnancy takes longer than having to mass produced like a product.

"I'm...i'm sorry Gaz...about...about last night" I said, refusing to stare in her eyes. She observed me quietly, she crossed her arms and told me how it is. "You need to act like a Leader is supposed to. I know that you have feelings for them, but you need to grow up" and this is why I like Gaz, she's the kind of girl that I do want around for a long time.

"I know, "I spoke quietly. "It's just hard to know that they... your father and Red-can I come in?" I glance around the hallway to notice two guards enter from the elevator.

She understood my panicked look leaving her to let me in and shut the door behind me. "Is there something I should know?" She raised a brow and waited for my answer. I let out a sigh, "I don't know about panicking. This...this pain i have... in here" I pressed my hand against my chest and bit my lip.

She stared at me thoughtfully, circling around me. "You need to figure out this, we...I... don't need you to go down this path anymore." Perhaps I did truly have her open up to me unlike the others. Somebody for her to talk to, it was certainly a great feeling, but this was not a case to talk about how she is older and more wiser.

"I know" I murmured, watching her intently as I could truly know. "Will...will you show me...show me how to get better...to..." Finding the words was hard enough, but it was fantastic that Gaz understood what I meant and inclined her head. "Very well"

**~~~~~ (Tak, Tenn, Dib and Zim and Skoodge?):**

The five were seated around a round metallic amber coated table; in front of them were long forgotten full drinks and half full treat bowls. Each one of them are in deep thought and conversation with each other.

"We need to help her" Tenn said, twiddling her fingers together. The others watch her and nod slowly.

"Everything she does, is just to try to cover up her loneliness" Dib said, closing his eyes briefly. "My dad he's been going out with the same women since well their break up, so I guess he's out of the equation"

Zim held his head in his hands and stare down at the table blankly. Tak glances over at him and back at the others. she leans over to him and whisper in his ear,"What are you thinking about?"

He jumped in the air clenching his heart. "AAAHHH!" he screams,"DON"T DO THAT!" He growled at her. She let out a short laugh and patted her hand against the table. "That was so funny, but I'm serious. What are you going thinking so intently about?"

He lets out a angry huff. "Zim should trap the two in a closet! No...no that wouldn't work... maybe in a...hahah INGENIOUS!" He begun to laugh. "ZIM"S GOT AN IDEA!"

While Zim was laughing and drawing up a plan. The others glanced at each other, "How does Gaz put up with him?" Tak asked. It was a question that nobody really knew for why she was with him in the first place, perhaps it was due to actually liking him? That's the most obvious answer, but still... what does she see him in other than this?

"No idea" Tenn said at the same time as Dib. "Now add that and this and ohh this too!" Zim nearly shouts, his eyes full of excitement and ideas that are turning through his head like a hamster or a space gerbil or even cogs and gears. "Perhaps this is one part she likes about him?" Tak suggests.

"Maybe" Dib said, shrugging as he and Tak made eye contact. Tenn and Skoodge took a bite of their chocolate chip chocolate muffin. "This is pretty good, I wonder who made this batch?"

The others even Zim paused in his thoughts and look at the two dumbfounded and then continued on his idea.

**~~~~~~~(NORMAL)~~~~~~~~**

Gaz leaned on her bed and watch as the older female pace back and forth in thought. They are finished with their discussion. "I don't understand, why would...what did you do to... I need something to fill my empty hole of doom" I grumbled and head towards the door. Gaz to my right faster than I could hear or pay attention. Perhaps she would be great at stealth missions... _'oh why am I thinking that?' _ I shook my thought off and proceed out of the door._  
_

We left down the hallway towards the mass cafeteria, I want to see other Irkens, maybe I should try to make a difference or perhaps try to actually become something...something better than I am currently?

"Gaz what was with all those books in your room?" I asked her, when I was looking around her room while we had our discussion, heartfelt really, and she had thirty to a hundred books, perhaps even more that I did not see behind the ceiling high stacks.

"What do you think books are for?" She said. "It certainly isn't for decorations" I rolled my eyes and laugh out a short laugh, it was a temporary remedy. "You were reading, I know that part. What is it about?" I certainly hoped that she would answer this questions that has bombarded me since we left that moody atmosphere room.

She walked towards the elevator and waited for it to open and we entered inside it and pressed the button to the cafeteria floor. "I was reading about the history" She leaned over to me and whispered, "Did your academy teach you anything about history?" I shrugged, "Only what we needed, not that whole thing..Why do you ask?" I was more than confused, did she knoew something I didn't?

She examined the elevator and replied. "There are somethings you need to know. What you get a chance come see me and I will explain it, otherwise they're is going to be something worse then you would know" She stopped talking when the doors opened and we exited the elevator and head straight to the cafeteria, getting strange looks from the other Irkens, all wondering why a Tallest would go here.


End file.
